On a much lighter note than yesterday, I'm feeling a little better. I gave them my answer and they were more than supportive, which makes it even harder to say no. But I have to be confident in my choices and just keep swimming... Reading this article from The Everygirl was very inspiring and just what I needed yesterday. I also couldn't help but notice the cutest little phone dock that I need ASAP for my desk!
My phone is always sitting next to me on my desk, and I love how this props it up so you can see your messages when they pop up. It also functions as a charging station, which sealed the deal for me. I can't wait for it to arrive.
Today is a total T.M.I. Debbie Downer post, so if you're not into that kind of thing, I suggest you cruise on through to your next blog ;)
So yesterday I had to make a stupid hard decision, like the kind of decision that will change the way the rest of your life goes. Those really suck. And I was given approximately 24 hours to give my final answer. Naturally I spent my entire. freaking. day. going through all of the what if's, practically begging Charlie to tell me what to do (which he didn't, darn him!), and even though I've officially come to what (I think) I'm going to do I don't feel happy about it. It's one of those things that I just wouldn't be happy with no matter what choice I made, so I'm making the one that I feel is right for me at this moment. I'm just hoping so, so much that I don't look back on this and completely regret it. If you've made it this far you're probably asking yourself "WHAT IS THIS DECISION, STACY!?!" or maybe not, but in any case here ya go... Yesterday morning I was just given an opportunity that if it had happened this time last year I would have jumped for joy and screamed "yes!" without even blinking an eye. I was given the opportunity to teach my dream grade, with my dream team, at my dream school. Except now when I find out about it all I can think about is that I have just finally made the decision to take a break from teaching. I'm just getting started with design and totally love it, and would have to completely give it all up. I'll have to drop all of my classes. I'll have to quit before I've really even started with it all. Then the self doubt kicks in and I start to think that I never really could have been successful in design anyway, and I should stick to what I know and what I can get a job in. Then I start thinking that if I don't take the risk, I'll never even know... Classic over thinker/analyzer right here. So, after many tears and complete uncertainty I have decided to stick with the direction that I've been heading and take a break from teaching. Which is why I chose this quote from the Perks of Being a Wallflower, because I'm both happy and sad about the whole darn thing, and I can't quite figure out which one I should be. I know there are much, much worse problems to have, and I'm actually grateful to have this problem, but it still sucks to be so sure of myself and have it all change in a second. Every inch of my body feels filled up with some sort or thought or emotion, and I hate it. Maybe I'll look back on this and realize it's not really that big of a deal and that I'm completely overreacting, but right now I feel like I'm deciding my fate, and I really don't want to eff that up.
Yesterday I'd finally decided that I'd had enough of our crazy blah bedroom and did some shopping around the house to change things up a bit. This is all totally spur of the moment and preliminary just to see if it works... so no judging. If you want to see how our bedroom used to look, check it out here. Don't those beige walls just make you want to punch someone??? We're still looking into moving, but if we end up staying for another year I'm painting. Like, no matter what I'm painting that shizz.
I switched our black and silver lamps from the bedroom with my pretty pink lamp from our bar area to give some much needed color to our room.
I found these coral x-benches for a complete steal at Target a few weeks ago. I had planned to reupholster them, possibly in this David Hicks goodness, but they are growing on me as-is.
I found this greek key trim that I will be using to trim our curtains (hopefully next week!).
There used to be a weird mixture of metallics going on here that I switched out for a nice, big plant. The lamp will probably end up going, but I haven't figured out what I'm going to put in its place just yet.
Here are our previous nightstand lamps that have found a new home on our bar. I'm still trying to figure out if the scale is all wrong, or if I like it.
These are just quick pics from my phone. I'll take real ones when everything is styled up all nice and pretty!
I've been on the hunt for another rug for our bedroom, and even though I have a similar style in our living room, I think I want another Beni Ourain style rug. This one from Pottery Barn caught my eye:
I love a good deal, so you can imagine me running across this similar style rug while shopping at Target. I was practically jumping for joy in the aisle. They only had a 5'x7' in the store, which wasn't large enough for our room, but luckily they carry larger sizes online that might work.
Last week was wonderful! I got to go to market and it was crazy fun. I didn't want to be a loser walking around taking pictures of all the gorgeousness, but I did sneak a pic of my favorite Scalamandre zebra wallpaper. I was totally nerding out seeing all of these fabrics and designs that I've only seen in magazines. We stopped at the Kravet, Brunschwig & Fils, Lee Jofa, Robert Allen/Beacon Hill, and Scalamandre showrooms. The best part was finding out how the whole trade process works, and getting a tour of some of the behind the scenes action that most people don't get to see. Taking this field trip definitely helped erase any doubts I had about going into this field.
We live around so many fun attractions, and we haven't been very good about exploring them all, so Charlie and I decided to play tourist and take a little day trip to Ft. Worth. Here we are at the center of the water gardens.
When I saw this picture I couldn't believe it. It is exactly what I've been imagining for my office area. I really want a long desk that can accommodate our computer and still has space for me to set up my sewing machine. I've also had my eye on this exact drawer unit that I want to place in between the two areas.